>
Mankind has certainly witnessed many deranged rulers. Rome alone produced a fair share of such rulers such as Caligula or Nero, both of whom much is well known. Caligula elected his horse to senate, and Nero enjoyed covering people in tar, setting them on fire, and walking through gardens lit by these human torches. Most of the actions undertaken by the Roman Caesar’s stemmed from the belief that they were gods. Again, Caligula must be mentioned in this vein. He chose his favorite sister to be a wife. When she became pregnant bearing his child, Caligula believed his sister to not be divine enough to carry the “son of god.” He cut the child from her womb, and both mother and child died, much to Caligula’s shocking dismay.
The Roman histories do not improve, in fact, if it is believable, their stories plunge deeper into hideous depravity. By the time Rome had reached her physical peak as an empire, tools were already in place for Rome’s inevitable dismantling. The Emperor, who used to rule supreme, had unwittingly become a slave, though, not to man, but to power, greed, and the people he had to satisfy.
After Marcus Aurelius died, the Roman Emperor title was given to the highest bidder. Modern perception understands campaign promises, and the subsequent broken promises that follow. Romans on the other hand had to make due their promises before offices were acceded. Generals, therefore, plundered regions for the necessary gold to buy ever larger armies, which were then used to strike fear into any rival throne seeker. It proved to be a violent time, and the undoing of the Roman Empire from within, not without. Through Dio Cassius, Herodian, Ammianus Marcellinus, and other Ancient Chroniclers, one may see how hundreds assumed the Imperial throne and lost it violently, usually by the purchased armies used to gain the title, “Caesar.” Herodian for instance details how Commodus was killed by his army while he was pooping on a Syrian roadside.
One of the most elaborate Roman Emperor tales recorded concerns Elagabalus, or Heliogabalus. His depravity, especially sexual, is well recorded, and was well known during his rule. After Caracalla was killed more turmoil unfolded. Macrinus rose to power, but his power was shaky at best. Elagabalus’ aunt, Julia Maesa, conspired to put him in authority. She began her intrigue by convincing both Elagabalus and his mother to declare the lie that Elagabalus was Caracalla’s son. Upon hearing the lie, Caracalla’s previous supporters gave their allegiance to the 14 year old boy. Elagabalus now had an army, who declared him emperor on May 16, 218. Immediately, Macrinus declared the boy insane and a liar. Roman Senate upon Macrinus’ pressure, declared war against the “False Emperor.” Three weeks later, Macrinus was defeated by Gannys, Elagabalus’ tutor, at Antioch after Julia Maesa used bribes to convince Macrinus’ Second Legion to turn on their commanders during battle. Macrinus, beaten, disguised himself as a courier and ran toward Italy. He was captured en route and executed at Cappadocia.
Elagabalus was now Caesar, his grandmother Julia Maesa, and mother Julia Soaemias were given the tiles of Augustus.
Elagabalus was immediately controversial. He was Syrian, not Roman. He worshipped eastern deities, especially El-Gabal, his local Sun-god. This angered the Senate, and many in the armies who initially supported his claim to the throne, because they wanted Roman gods to be worshipped. Revolts broke out, and were quickly suppressed, further solidifying his power. Elagabalus, spitefully began his outrage now in force. He married a Vestal Virgin (forbidden), began setting up his gods in place of the traditional Roman gods, dressed as a woman, prostituted himself in brothels, and called himself the mistress of a charioteer. Such actions won Elagabalus many enemies.
According to an almost certainly fabricated report in the Augustan History, Elagabalus invited many of his worst enemies to a lavish party. The impressive surroundings put his guest at ease. They thought, murder was the plot, but saw the emperor in a jovial mood as rose petals were delicately snowing upon them in the enclosed room. Nothing seemed dangerous, but as Elagabalus continued to lead his guests into a drunken stupor, the lightly falling rose petals became a torrential blizzard. With increasing intensity, beauty turned to horror, as the rose petals became Elagabalus’ murder weapon. “The Roses of Heliogabalus” tale later fascinated the Dutch painter, Lawrence Alma-Tadema, who painted the ornate gathering seen above.
Elagabalus lost power rapidly, his outrageous behavior, even for Rome, was an affront. The legions who once supported him began to rebel. Julia Maesa perceived mutiny and convinced Elagabalus to appoint his cousin Alexander Severus as his heir. Popular sentiment was openly given to Alexander by the army and civilians alike, which hurt Elagabalus’ pride. Elagabalus tried, in vain, to kill his cousin, who was then forced into hiding, which made Romans fear the worst. Rome, in chaotic frenzy, demanded to see Alexander, who was then shown to the masses as an attempt to forestall rebellion. Cheering broke out, but not for Elagabalus, who ordered the arrests of anyone cheering for Alexander. Such a declaration would have seen much of the army in prison, so instead, the army assassinated Elagabalus, and made Alexander Severus the next reigning Roman Emperor. Elagabalus died March 11, 222 age, 18, having nefariously ruled Rome four years.
armchaircapitalist 